


Wordlessly

by Telana



Category: Mystic Messenger
Genre: 707 Route Spoilers, Grief/Mourning, Multi, after ending spoilers, and the reader is unnamed so, idk it's second person, in which the RFA feels a lot more like a family to me than it's presented as in the game, kind of a reader-insert?, secret ending spoilers, set at the last chapter of the first secret ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 14:45:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7578196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telana/pseuds/Telana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saying goodbye is hard, especially when there's no real closure to be had. The sun sets, the sun rises, and the RFA learns to let go and move on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wordlessly

Why do movies always show funerals in the rain? You’d figured it was just to capture “the mood,” the melancholy that supposedly settled on all the mourners gathered in all black under matching umbrellas. Veiled faces, dabbing at eyes with clearly recognizable tissues. That’s what people seemed to believe funerals were like. Beautiful misery. Controlled pain.

It seemed almost hilariously incongruent then that your final farewell to V was bathed in sunshine, surrounded by every possible arrangement of flowers. If it weren’t for the fact that you and the other members of the RFA were gathered to mourn, you might have considered it a beautiful day. Maybe that’s something V would have appreciated. He seemed to be the type, from what you could tell, who would rather those who miss him have their shoulders warmed in the sun than hidden in cold and darkness.

Next to you, Saeyoung fidgeted anxiously in his seat. You knew he had to be uncomfortable; he was one of a few people who knew the truth surrounding V’s death. Everyone had been told he’d committed suicide, which, you supposed, was likely what V would have wanted them to believe. Still, the knowledge had to be eating Saeyoung alive. You knew he had to feel guilty knowing how V had really died and who had killed him.

You reached over and gave his hand a little squeeze, hoping to reassure him in some way. There was nothing you could say, not now and probably not ever, but you needed Saeyoung to know he wasn’t alone in this. As long as he would have you at his side, he would never be alone.

Saeyoung turned his hand over and laced his fingers between yours before squeezing back. Neither of you said a word; how could you? What could you possibly say? Instead, you both listened to the priest bless the urn with holy water, holding each other’s hands in the boldest display of affection you dared show in that moment.

The rest of the rite passed in quiet solemnity. V’s ashes were buried and, once the priest had left, the six of you gathered around the photo still on the altar. The desire to speak, to say something that might help was crushed by the overwhelming sense of not being able to say anything at all. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Jaehee broke the silence.

“V.. was my role model,” she said, measuring her words carefully. “He was always so consistent, so reliable..”

“He was a good friend,” Jumin added in an uncharacteristic emotional whisper. “He taught us all so much… and showed us the truth.”

“V is the reason I have a family again,” Zen spoke up. “He was always such a warm person and valued fairness above all else.”

“I…” Yoosung hesitated for a moment before continuing, “I honestly hated V… I felt that he hid so much, but… V… I forgive you.”

Saeyoung squeezed your hand once again before speaking up. You could see in his eyes that he’d been thinking about this the whole time, trying to figure out what he could say.

“For the first time, V, please… live for yourself up there,” he said. “You don’t need to save anyone now. Just live for yourself, ok?”

You wanted to speak, wanted to be able to chime in with some fond memory, but you couldn’t think of a single thing. Everyone had known V so long and you had only known him for less than two weeks. What could you possibly say?

“Goodbye, V,” Jaehee nearly whispered, her voice quivering. She dabbed at her eyes with a wad of tissues that you suspected she’d been using the entire service.

“...I will never forgive you for leaving on your own,” Jumin muttered, balling his hands into fists. He’d been so close with V. Even though he knew the truth, knew who pulled the trigger, Jumin probably knew this was the end V had planned the whole time. You had no doubt he, like everyone else here, had scrolled back through all the old chat logs, looking for some sort of clue. If anyone felt like they should have seen it coming, it was likely Jumin or Saeyoung.

“I… I’m sorry,” Yoosung said hoarsely. “I can’t… excuse me.” He shuffled away from the group, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. 

“Yoosung..?”

“Let him go, Jaehee,” Zen said, patting her shoulder gently. “I think he needs some time alone.”

“People love, hate, kill… and then, miraculously, love again,” Jumin mused, crossing his arms.

Zen sighed and shook his head. “Don’t get all philosophical. That just… makes everything so much more complicated.”

“Are you sure we should leave him alone right now?” Saeyong asked, running a thumb across yours. You knew what he was thinking. It could hurt even more to be alone right now and you both knew how alone Yoosung had felt before.

“No, but,” Zen sighed again, “I think I understand how he feels… sort of.”

The rest of you stood in silence, unsure of what to say next. No one seemed to know what to do. V had been the backbone of the RFA. With him gone, you weren’t sure what would happen to the organization. Rika was still alive, but you were positive that between the aphasia that had set in and her own reaction to losing V that she wouldn’t be stepping in to take his place.

The most likely candidate, in fact, was Jumin. He’d stepped up when you and Saeyoung left to find Saeran and, despite his flaws, you knew he was in the best position to keep the RFA alive. 

The hand in yours started to tremble, pulling you from your thoughts. You looked up and saw the grimace on Saeyoung’s face. For a moment, you were confused until you saw the strap of the sling on his shoulder and gasped. His painkillers must have worn off sometime during the service.

“Do you need me to get your medicine from the car?” you asked, squeezing his hand gently. “I think we have some water, too.”

“I’ll be ok,” he answered, forcing a smile.

You sighed and shook your head, letting go of his hand.

“That’s how I know you need it.” You stood up on your toes and kissed his cheek chastely. “I’ll be right back, ok? Love you.”

Before he could answer, you were already halfway to the small parking lot. It struck you that not many people had come to mourn V. Not even his family had come to the burial, saying it would be more important for the members of the RFA to be there for him. You suspected, not for the first time, that V hadn’t kept in contact with his parents much. Maybe that was why he felt like the RFA was his real family.

As you dug around in the glove compartment for the small bottle of painkillers, you caught yourself wondering what this must be like for Rika. She was there, at the funeral, but, of course, she hadn’t said a word. Part of you held her personally responsible for V’s death, but there was this small part that seemed to be growing that was sympathetic. From what you had gathered, Rika had been suffering from a variety of mental health issues. At that time, V was the only one there for her who knew. Even Yoosung had no idea.

Finally, you found the pills and a bottle of water that was tucked under the seat and started towards the others. As you closed the car door, however, you noticed Rika standing close, her expression as blank as ever. Not for the first time that day, you were faced with the inability to say a word.

Rika watched you curiously, as if asking why you were off on your own. You forced a smile and shook the pill bottle and nodded towards Saeyoung. Rika turned to watch them, still huddled around the altar with V’s picture, brows furrowing slightly. She didn’t seem angry, just… confused and maybe a bit lonely.

“...Your… Sun.”

You gasped and dropped the pill bottle in shock. Rika had just… spoken?

“What?”

“He… is your sun…” Rika said again, never turning away from the others. She kept watching, her expression shifting from confusion to understanding.

“I don’t know where I’d be without him,” you admitted. “You know, I think I have to thank you for that. If Saeran hadn’t tricked me into going to the apartment, I never would have met him.”

Rika turned to you and raised an eyebrow in curiosity. She pointed toward your cheek, which still had a bandage covering the gash you’d got at the Mint Eye headquarters. Instinctively, you put a hand over the bandage. It still stung a little whenever you touched it, but the doctor said it would heal well. As long as you kept using the ointment he’d prescribed you, it shouldn’t scar.

“I don’t mind that I got hurt.” You put just a little more pressure on the wound, wincing a bit at the pain. “It’s worth it to know we saved you and Saeran and everyone else there. I don’t regret it one bit. Though,” you sighed, “I’m sorry we couldn’t save V… you must have loved him a lot. I know he loved you.”

Before you knew what was happening, Rika had wrapped her arms around you, clinging tight. You weren’t sure what was appropriate, but you felt your heart break for her despite how much of this tragedy was her doing. Her shoulders shook, quivering with each sob.

Once again, there was nothing you could say. No words could help. All you could do is stand there and hold her until the pain passed, until she could stand to be on her own again. As you felt her sobs slow, you saw that the rest of the group was making their way over. Saeyoung kept his eyes on you the whole time, his expression unreadable from so far away.

You were sure he didn’t approve. Rika was the one who had lied to him all along, not V. Rika was the one who had poisoned Saeran, turned his brother against him. If there was one person who would not want Rika anywhere near you, it would be him. You watched as he drew closer, waiting for him to tell Rika to leave you alone.

But he didn’t.

As Saeyoung got closer and closer, all you could see on his face was a mixture of confusion and, well, wonder. You wanted to ask, but the words just wouldn’t come. Maybe later or maybe never, you’d be able to ask what he was thinking that day. But in that moment, he didn’t say a word; Saeyoung simply came to your side and held you with his good arm as you held Rika.

Before you knew it, everyone in the RFA was just holding each other. You’d never felt so loved in your life, never felt like you had a group you belonged to more than that one. The warmth of their arms around you and each other made your heart swell.

This was your family, here, holding you wordlessly.


End file.
